Friday, June 26, 2009

I Am My Own Worst Enemy

I have just returned from four, fun (NOT!) filled days of Flight Attendent Mayhem! The worse part is that I am to blame for most of the madness. I suffered the usual weather delays, which are to be expected, but, the bulk of the nonsense was my own doing!

Here are the highlights:

The first flight to Chicago O'Hare started with a delay due to late arriving aircraft. We were full (of course) and rushing to get back on schedule. Somehow I lost my glasses in the chaos of changing crews, getting commisary supplies and boarding. After fumbling through the snack and beverage service, I was restocking the galley and dropped a six-pack of Coke at my feet. All six cans opened into a massive Coke Bomb that exploded up my skirt. In a panick, I kicked the Coke Bomb which caused a lawn sprinkler type action that extended from First Class to the Flight Deck door. After mopping floor, ceiling, lavatory, boarding door, flight deck door, me and everything/everybody else, I quickly changed into dry hose and underpants-sticky skirt stayed on. The First Class passengers thanked me for an entertaining 50 minutes of flight as they pried their shoes off of the floor and deplaned.

We changed planes in Chicago-thank goodness! I'm sure I'll hear back from the crew that took over our aircraft. The night was still young, and we still had to fly to La Guardia and Boston. Weather delays and air traffic delays further complicated our plans but we arrived in Boston by 1:00 AM.

When I got to the hotel in Boston, I peeled off the sticky skirt and sweater, looked in the mirror and noticed that I looked like a synchronized swimmer with Coke matted hair. ARRRGH!

Our Flight from Boston to Cincinnati was uneventful. But, we had a four hour break before we were scheduled to go to Tampa. Being the diligent Knitwit, I escaped to the shop during the break to take care of a few things and as I was pulling into the airport, my phone rang. I answered the phone thinking it was my friend Janice 859-727-(no glasses)..... but the number on my phone was 859-767-..... Never answer a phone number with 859-767-...that's Comair! It was scheduling and they were changing my assignment. They were sending me to Detroit and they were holding the flight for me to ride as a passenger.

I ran through security, through the terminal to the furthest possible Gate-B33. I was not feeling very fresh, but things got worse. There was no APU on the aircraft (meaning there was no air conditioning while on the ground) and this was my seatmate (my seat-and-a-half-mate). We were nice and cozy in the very back row by the lavatory.

From Detroit, I toweled off, reapplied deordorant, found my new crew and worked the flight to Lexington, KY. Things got better for a brief while.

Steve Meyers, (Tall Steve, Knitwits Maintenance God and Belinda's Husband) was in Lexington and he picked me up for lunch. We went to Ramsey's, a great Southern Down-Home Fried Food Emporium/Diner and chowed down on fried green tomatoes, creamed corn, kale, mac 'n cheese and meatloaf. YUM! Then, I dragged him to a pie shop and knitting shop called Magpies. Thanks Steve, you are a true friend and trooper!

Above is the weather map as I was leaving Lexington for La Guardia. It's hard to see-but the map is all clear except for the BIG GREEN BLOB right over Lexington. Remember the storms on Thursday night? Delay, turbulence, New Crew #3....the fun never ends.

We bumped and bounced to La Guardia and then to Savannah, Georgia. We got to Savannah around 1:00 AM and got into the hotel van that was just like the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" van. Cool!

Not Cool! We got in the wrong van. We were at the Baymont Suites and we stay at the Staybridge Suites. It's now 2:00 AM!
Easy Day! All I have to do is deadhead (ride as a passenger) to Cincinnati!

Arrive at Savannah Airport to see the above departure board. Flight #6500 to Cincinnati is CANCELED! :(
Savannah to Atlanta, two and a half bour sit, Atlanta to Cincinnati. No Glasses!--cannot read chart to work on Shop Owners Waistcoat Sweater in Size Medium!
Thank goodness I grabbed some size 11 needles and some Baby Alpaca Grande on the 4 hour break (Day 2)!
When life doesn't go as planned....KNIT!
I finished the Baby Alpaca Grande Flaired Vest as we taxied to the gate in Cincinnati.
Checked Out & Back in the 41017!

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry for your pain, but thnks for making me laugh!